Motherless Child

Who’s got a shoulder when I need to cry
I feel restless and I don't know why
Cry for help, but still feel alone
Like a motherless child along way from home
Lord I'm lost I can't find my way
I'm dealing with the struggles in my day to day
My soul is weak and I wanna be strong
I try to run away but I've been running to long

Valentines Day

So Valentines Day is literally in 10 days. I've been asked by a handful of people to be their 'valentines' & take pictures, of course I couldn't say yes because of Wilson. I honestly have no idea what's going on with me and him at the moment. Gonna roll with it and see what the deal is,'cause at the moment i just don't know./: Shit, may just buy roses and chocolates for my damn self & act surprised and EVERYTHING. Hahahaha. Naw, I'm messin. I remember last year, BaJon came in the middle of my first period & brought me a dozen roses and chocolates. My face was probably as red and the flowers. Lolol. It was cute:)
Definitely gonna get some 'people' some valentines stuff, even if we're not 'together' Even pimps have their romantic side :D hahaha.
Soooo I'll let ya'll know how that day goes when it gets here, until then, I'ma stay pimpin baby. Lmao.

Need You Now

As i read her post, tears my ran down my face from both happiness and sadness. Kinda like a bittersweet type moment. I said it 'caught me off guard' because shes not the type to open up. i forgive her. That was the most sincere and sweetest things shes ever said . . .oh Gawd, making me cry.

Hah, I told her my middle name too.
Gonna try to catch some Zzzz's now. Goodnight.

:)

Wow. Where on Earth do I start?? I guess from the beginning. I remember the FIRST day we met, Freshmen Orientation & she was going on and on about Cornell notes. It was annoying me, until she started talking about Ms. Clark. Lol. I guess she thought i was paying attention when i raised my hand, just thought she should know her shoes were that FYI. Hahah.
So we started talking on facebook, not a big thing. & an occasional "Hi" in the hallways. Rumors started going around that at the first home varsity football game, we made out & she was trying to turn me out and stuff. Yea.... I FREAKED OUT.!! Hahah. It's kinda ironic now i guess.
I still remember all our crazy inside jokes, "soggy sweet bread" hahaha. i hate waffles & pancakes. & how i would go to bojangles, buy food & not even eat it just to see her. Smh. yeah i know...i had it badd. haha. & homecoming with her was the best. i couldn't have asked for a better time.
Little did I know that i would fall for her, i guess it took losing some friends, what i believed in, & my mom to figure out...it was all worth it.
We had a rough patch, it started with the fact that I didn't want to share her. I felt like the situation had turned into like, i have her on weekend, he has her on weekdays, we switch off every other week. haha. that kinda thing. & it drove me crazy. to this day she doesnt know half of the stuff i know she said about me, im gonna keep it that way. I went from loving her, to completely hating her, to missing her crazy, to hating her, Lol. & now we're just . . .good.
If you just look at my first semester in high school, it's been...wild. i dont think she realizes how much i genuinely cared about her. feels like we've been through a lot..without really going through a lot. if that makes sense *shrug*. she has a boyfriend now, & homeboy is CA-UTEEE hahah. :) she seems happy. well, at least thats the impression shes giving off. if thats the case, then im happy. Yeah, i miss her. but i talk to her like everyday now. lol. but shes in my life, so no complaints heree. going off to college soon & that'll be the end of it. maybe i'll get a text every now and then when she leaves(: haha. I just wish things could've...worked out. wish i could go back..& change some things..


ohh btw. in this pic...first football game at riverside. her hair looks great, i guess i like short hair better...haha i remember when she got extensions, i didnt recognize her.

Nia Scott ♥

Nia Imani Scott. [She's gonna kill me for putting her middle name out there] ;) I feel like I it would be an understatement if I called this girl my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her, she's been there for me when I didn't want to be there for myself. She probably knows me better than I do. haha. We've always had eachother's backs & yeah we've had our share of ups and downs but at the end of the day, I'm gonna love this girl until the day I die. Nia, if I haven't told you before, thank you. & I love you hunz.

This is my Reflection class on wacky tacky day (: Chorus is pretty much...amazing. I want to be a Siren more than anything! Auditions last year were the same day & time as cheer try-outs. & i guess i felt like cheer was more important. haha. I've been working my butt off, i heard the auditions are intense & harder for girls. of course. on top of the fact, that i dont think Ms. Boliek likes me very much. I joined the script committee, so I'm excited about that. I wont be too disappointed if i dont make Sirens, BUT, i sure hope so. Cross your fingerrrsss.

Second Chance

It's only been a few days since you've left
feels like forever
& the painful feeling in my stomach when i think of every word
every day
every smile
we shared
to know that there will be no more, drives me insane
i wrap myself inside your blanket, so I can feel some part of you and absorb in your scent
& i listen to the same message on my answering machine
just so I won't forget your voice
I reread letters you sent to remember your hand writing
I yearn to kiss your lips. just once.
my desire for you to hold me in your arms to a never-ending song
that only we can hear,
is beyond be loving you
because you were my reason for waking up every morning
& going a day without talking to you was impossible
your touch makes me weak
& some nights i reach out for you, just to realize that you aren't there
& i sink back into my sheets and cry myself to sleep
because i know that you will never come back
& if i were to be near you again, i would ask for a second chance
to love you harder than possible, and never ever let you go

please.
give me a second chance.

~Yani